07.05.2024 2:30 - когда просыпаюсь всё проходит
такие ночи у меня уже много (7-8 где-то?) лет. ночи когда я не могу уснуть и поливаю себя грязью. сначала начиналось с неудовлетворением внешним видом, затем я начал думать о том какой я человек. это уже вышло в привычку. как стал студентом ночи участились и усилились. думал о многом. думал о том как я это делаю. думал о том какими способами. но я знал что никогда не сделаю потому что оно мне действительно не нужно. но думал. однажды попросил соседа убить меня во сне. он шутливо отказался. тогда я был серъезен. недавно (когда вышел пост с "неразберихой") опять была та ночь. по какой то причине она была усиленная. я не знаю почему это началось но оно продолжалось. было не очень настолько, что хотел написать другу чтобы высказаться. попытался высказаться чат боту. лег спать. чувствовал себя неприятно. утешал себя тем, что на утро все пройдет. всегда проходит, как будто ничего не было. я проснулся и даже не вспоминал о ночи. сейчас хорошая ночь. доброй ночи
05.05.2024
the whole existance of this fucking page is the prove of me being whiny little bitch. oh haha i will post messages about me being pathetic person who pitties himself by saying NOOO I AM OKAY GUYS DONT CHEER ME UP HA HA I AM SOOOOOO NOT SAD HAHAHAHA GUYS. THIS IS FUCKING RETARDED. i will not delete this just to reminder myself of what the shitty person i am. fuck yall
9.11.2023 - AARGHH I HATE SLEEPING PROBLEMS
So I decided that instead of whining like a bitch on the Deeper™ blog i will just talk about shit that is a little bit more personal that my personal blog (haha) and the today's topic: ARRRGHHH I HATE SLEEPING PROBLEMS. Sometimes when I fuck up my sleeping schedule I do a "hard reset". It means that I have to be awake for whole night and day and go to sleep at the right time when I want to fall asleep for next times. I did it yesterday, I fought the need for sleep for whole day and afternoon but when I layed on my bed at around 9 pm I DIDNT FELL ASLEEP FOR 2-3 HOURS. WHAT THE FUCK, WHY DID I PUT ALL THIS EFFORT JUST TO BE FUCKED LIKE THAT?!?!? AND RN I AM WRITING THIS PN THE MEXT DAY, TRYING FOR FALL ASLEEP FOR 3 HOURS AGAIN. FUCK SLEEPING PROBLEMS. I guess I need to buy another pack of glycine. gnite
8.11.2023 - nvm tho
after a while with no posts in deeper blog i think i wont post here. when i had something that is compatible with deeper blog i just didn'nt want to share it, even here. yeah maybe i had an hour of self hate and maybe i scratched myself but its too cringe to post it. i dont feel like my problems are relevant, like, they dont matter. i have no right to have mental problem (which i dont). jus trust me with that, anything bad i think about isnt that bad actually but im just being overly dramatic about shit, ill be fine man. this is stupid. this post isnt necessary too i dont know why i am even spending time on that shit. this all is just an act of self pity and i cant name it more accurately, stfu man
16.10.2023 - Welcome
Welcome to the first entry of the deeper(TM) blog! Today i just wanna say some words about it. So as the subtitle says, i created deeper blog to share my generous thought and be crystal clear with you and myself. As it also said please don't discuss deeper blog with me, i created it not for that. It would be very stupid if someone i know will find this fucking immediatly, i will delete that shit and never attempt to do that again. Maybe there will be no posts idfk, they will be there whenever i will go crazy and shit. The first thing i want to talk about today is: i think its not important. Let me cook there, i think i have some thoughts but i know that they are fucking stupid and no problem and are not important so i dont even bother my friends to talk about it, i think they will agree with me about it, i dont even know why i am telling that shit just stfu this is my deeper blog, no one asked you to go here. i think i got out of the track. YO! sometimes i think i have a problem but it doesnt really matter, hey i just thought that this blog is a stream of consciousness. ok i forgot what i wanted to tell anymore. i think thats the whole point of the deeper blog, just posting random silly thought i be having, gnite